Post-exam musing

Exams are over, and thus concludes my third year in university. One more year to go.

—–

That day Sulz wrote a post on what she might want a 27-year-old Sulz to tell her 22-year-old self, crossing time boundaries (and sounding eerily like The Lake House, but no matter). I responded to that post by saying that I would like my 27-year-old self to tell me that whatever choices I make regarding my academic and career life now will not come to naught. And possibly all the love I am holding back now will go to someone who deserves it.

Sounds terribly unlike the usually confident (and obnoxious) me?
But you can’t fault me when people around me create doubt in me. Children only learn to doubt after they have been doubted first. So, in a way, it’s because of how people keep asking me what I intend to do with an English Language degree that opens the Pandora’s Box. And how everyone seems to be in pursuit of the One true love, or simply, True Love, that makes me wonder if that’s something everyone should aim for in life. So I guess the best way is combat this doubt is to have an older wiser me tell me to screw them all and lead my own life the way I want it to be. Like the song lyrics I posted a few days ago, each birthday we’re just getting closer to who we’re going to be. I like that idea that somehow someday I’d just get on form, and be my destiny.

Maybe you’d ask me, how does a person who doesn’t acknowledge any divine powers believe in destiny? Good question. I guess destiny to me it’s a personal and subjective categorisation; no one can tell you what your destiny is except yourself. It’s when you feel the best about yourself, and feel as though that’s what you’re meant to do/be, and that you’d have no regrets. Then I guess that’s your destiny. We don’t know for sure when we’ll feel it, or what it’ll be, but I’m dead certain we know it when it comes.